martes, 3 de junio de 2008

Del Hiperscan y otros demonios

Bueno, dicen que hierba mala nunca muere (aunque los cocaleros glifosados y de pasada la selva amazónica digan lo contrario) así que los que esperaban que la gripe amilanara a este esponjoso gato pues se fregaron!!!! Para retornar, he decidido tratar un tema que nuestro bienamado Jockercito ha traido a colación con motivo de su temporada de caza y pesca y es el famoso HIPERSCAN o ¿como conseguir marido y no morir en el intento?
Es cierto, el estandar gay para consecución de pareja es alto, tanto que a veces solo se logra divisar desde el Colpatria (lease Coltejer en Medellín, Torre de Cali en Cali, Edificio Sears en Chicago y segundo piso de la casa de Monseñor en Mitú). Ese estandar, a veces tiene características que intento retrotraer a continuacion.
  • El personaje debe ser bonito, es decir si es mayor con canitas de ejecutivo no valen las rebeldes e hirsutas canas de abuelo, si es joven tiene que tener una baby face que mate de entrada o si está en los intermedios debe servir de modelo de afeitadora eléctrica.
  • El personaje debe tener un cuidado cuerpo de gym.
  • El personaje tiene que ser profesional y de preferencia con postgrado, egresado de alguna universidad de renombre (que aca tambien se le hace el feo a las universidades regionales)
  • El personaje debe tener un trabajo en el cual sea exitoso y ojalá que le permita acceso a los circulos sociales, bares y clubes de moda.
  • El personaje debe vivir en Rosales, Altos del Poblado, Ciudad jardin (Cali) o al lado del Condor en Mitú.
  • La ropa del personaje debe ser la combinación exacta de colores, diseño y texturas segun la coleccion primavera verano 2008 de Ives Saint Laurent (a quien de pasada le deseamos una fraternal salida de este mundo).
  • El personaje debe ser EL CATRE, dispuesto a complacer y ser complacido hasta "el infinito y mas allá".

Bueno y como decia mi abuelo ... de eso tan bueno si dan tanto? Yo.. no creo. De hecho, se que ese tipo ideal NO EXISTE y que lo mas parecido son las pasticas estas a las que solo se les agrega agua tibia y listo un manjar en la boca! (excepto porque tienen edulcorantes, conservantes, preservantes, saborizantes y además algo de comida). Creo que en algún momento del camino nos dejamos endilgar el papel de ser los abanderados de la moda, la vanguardia del gusto, los amos del estilo y los portadores del encanto y ese papel se convirtió en otro libreto adicional que debiamos representar con éxito. Y es que acaso todos los gay somos o debemos ser así? Hombre que ya hace 14 años me salí de un closet muy estrecho para ahora meterme en un corset!

Primera ideita suelta: Y es que si exigimos tanto ... será que estamos dando lo mismo, es decir... yo si me cuadraría conmigo? Charlando con un amigo que me conoce y sabe que en promedio soy buena gente, busco algo estable, tengo capacidad para enamorarme, que algunas de las cosas del estandar arriba enunciado las cumplo y otras ni a bala, me decía: "Y no será que le estás exigiendo mucho al hombre de hoy? Se de tu formación y estilo de vida, pero ... no estás pidiendo mucho para el contexto en el que vivimos todos?"

Segunda ideita suelta: Hace algunos años mi prima egresada del Rosario le decia a mi abuela "no abuelita, yo definitivamente voy a exigir que mis hermanas se casen con profesionales... es que de resto... mejor no." A lo que mi abuela respondió "Pues mijita, su papá no es mas que un obrero de cuadrilla en telefonos que a todas les dió casa, profesión, nunca les faltó nada, lleva casado con su mamá 35 años y solo tiene 5 de primaria."

Tercera ideita suelta: Si, ya se que este es el modelo heterosexual, pero yo no estaría en este mundo si mi adorada abuela, sobrina nieta del padre Almanza (uno de los sacerdotes de mayor prestigio en la Bogotá del siglo XIX) no se hubiera enamorado con locura y se hubiera volado de su casa con mi abuelo hijo natural y huerfano de un hacendado de la sabana que no tenía mas posesiones que un par de camisas, unos zapatos, un colchon viejo y sus dos manos para trabajar; si ambos no se hubieran ido a vivir a la Asunción cuando era un barrial con casas encima; si entre juntos no hubieran hecho un rancho ladrillo y ladrillo, si a pesar de no ganar sino a destajo no se hubieran decidido por tener dos hijos y adoptar una tercera y si a pesar de sus mutuos defectos no hubieran seguido adorandose con locura por 63 años.

Cuarta ideita suelta: Hace un par de años descubrí que el amor sincero también puede darse en poco tiempo y en las condiciones mas absurdas cuando Diego con los ojos encharcados decidió desnudarme su alma para mostrarme que no había mas leña que la que ardía, pero que era suficiente para ambos si nos manteniamos muy juntos.

Quinta ideita suelta: Marco y Javier, pareja amiga que se ama profundamente y que ha hecho de su casa un hogar, no estarían juntos si no fuese porque se eligieron, seropositivo uno y drogodependiente el otro, decidiendo que su existencia sería un acto de fe mutua. Hoy cuatro años después viven juntos en su apartamento, son existosos en su trabajo, sus familias se conocen, se visitan y todos dan gracias a la vida por haberles brindado una oportunidad como aquella.

Un abrazo a todos y disculpen si hubo uno que otro varillazo, en todo caso son fruto de cariño.(Mmm eso sonó un poco sado!! jajaja)

22 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

Una de las razones (que no deberia comentar porque usted ni me conoce en la blogosfera) por las cuales cerre mi blog fue por las confrontaciones ideologicas....

Que varillazo ni que nada, lo que sucede es que usted no es ciego y le da prelación a lo que realmente importa.

Anónimo dijo...

Amén .... ejem ... ¿Hay algo mas para decir? ..

Arquitecturibe dijo...

Tus ancestros... marco y Javier...
Cuanta adversidad puede servir para enmarcar las alas del amor de verdad... de ese amor que llega a doler al punto del desespero...
hmmmm qe buen post has hecho aqui ... excelente diria yo.
Perdona mi tardanza amigo... cosas que pasan en mi lejana galaxia

Monchis dijo...

Hola Gatito,

Aplausos Mil!!!!!!

Lo mejor que he leído de tí... voy a linkear este post en mi página, porque es de antología.

Me permito hacer varios comendatarios "sueltos"

Primero, no te engañes: el hombre perfecto SI EXISTE... Por supuesto que hay el hombre que es al mismo tiempo Bello, Atlético, Existoso, adinerado, inteligente y buen catre.... solo hay un problema: está casado y su novio no lo deja ni salir a la calle o es el mas perro de los perros porque tiene una corte entera de diablas pendientes de sus favores.

Segundo: El principio de la predestinación es algo demasiado derrotista... quien dijo que porque uno no sea de buena familia, lindo o hubiera estudiado en la mejor universidad no puede ser una maravillosa persona?

Tercero: Los Paisas tenemos un refrán muy sabio que dice.. "El que mucho escoge, se queda sin nada".

Cuarto: Esta frase es magistral: "ME CUADRARÍA CONMIGO MISMO?"... sin comentarios.

Quinto, Un mensaje para Akira: Como es ese cuento de cerrar el blog por las confrontaciones ideológicas?.... si lo único que a ti te gusta es el "elogio constructivo" pues andas por el lugar equivocado.

Cuando se tiene la oportunidad de expresar, pero al mismo tiempo debatir o refutar de manera civilizada con tus iguales, es una oportunidad maravillosa de crecimiento y aprendizaje... así de vez en cuando a uno lo confronten con sus propias miserias; pero bueno, cada cual verá.

Saludos y un abrazote.

Milo Gasa dijo...

Lo impresionante de tu reflexión, para mi, es que en una primera parte logras convencerme de que te crees todo lo que exiges, pero luego con tus ideas sueltas lo aclaras todo... ¿o será, a mi modo de ver, que lo oscureces?, porque una cosa es bien clara, sabes lo que quieres... pero también está el extenso número de concesiones que podrías hacer.

Yo por mi parte, nunca he hecho más exigencia que el no tener que ponerme a interpretar mensajes o a descifrar jeroglíficos, tener la certeza desde el principio que las cosas pueden funcionar o si por el contrario, estamos haciendo tiempo para reconocer el fracaso.

De todas maneras, hacer uno que otro filtro no está mal... no tiene uno por qué darle su corazón al primero que se lo proponga.

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